What is happiness to me, you may ask. My answer, if I know myself, will always be the same.
"To be free, to be me, to live life as I see."
And in most cases you will take it literally and wonder if I had a claustrophobic past or if I am arrogant enough to publicly say that I am too good or if I am an out-n-out hedonist. And in all of those cases, depending on my mood I may frown or may smirk or perhaps let out a little chuckle but always will leave you to your conclusions and walk away. It never fails to intrigue me to know others' point of views, at times they are educating while otherwise definitely entertaining. Someone else's perspective gives you something to ponder about without getting all flustered and worked up. It is like thinking about a book you have read or a movie you had watched. You will wonder if I am really that worldly wise or just a delusional fool. To me its detachment, to onlookers it is arrogance. To my parents it is sheer laziness and I definitely bow to their superior knowledge of me, they have seen me at my worst and known me the longest. Detachment is a good self defense, it's a wall hard to break. But let that be a boring topic for some other day. So where was I before I let my rambling get out of control? Oh yes. How I want to live my life? As an individual, freedom has always been of grave importance to me. You can say, to the point of being obsessed with this notion. But what sort of freedom, one may ask? Freedom to choose, freedom to make decisions, freedom to go all the way for your dreams. Whether my choices bring heartbreaks, decisions make me face dire consequences, whether my dreams remain unclaimed by reality - these guarantees never mattered. As long as I know I fought for what I longed for, as long as I know I have taken a decision using my understanding, as long as I know I made a conscious choice the consequences are justified. Life was never a bed of roses and will never be so. And that's fine. Really. Cause in every step of the way that leads through shattered pieces of desires, tears and scarred hearts there lie echo of past laughter, dreams about to be born and smiles about to burst forth. Life is an one chance gift with an expiry date. And its precious. So yes it's a sin not to enjoy the gift of life the way I wish to, its a mistake to let norms and strictures make this eventful journey a blur of nonsensical events. Flaws are integral part of us. Pretending we are perfect is foolish and at times harmful. Illusion of perfection is the greatest flaw as it makes us intolerant towards others' shortcomings to the point of being inhumane. Does it mean I glorify mistakes? No, definitely not. I believe in bearing consequences of action, no matter what was the history or how hard is the present. But that does not give us the right to play GOD and judge their mistakes. We like playing GOD with other's life. I think it's a kind of a power lust, to have others at our mercy, to know we can make or break someone's life. That brings us back to the question of freedom. We take freedom too easily, way too much for granted that we forget how we are depriving some other individuals their right to freedom. Fetus don't have the freedom to experience life, in the name of privilege and background children do not have the freedom to have childhood, some adolescents be girl or boy don't have the freedom to hold onto their innocence without flinching at the steps of a 'respectable' family member, women do not have the freedom to be out in public without attracting sexual harassment, in some countries people do not have the freedom to follow their sexuality and the list will go on and on. And the worst part is that such examples are around all of us. But hey, we all know this and even indulge in heated debate over this and then move on with a shrug. After all changing the world is for superheroes and I with my big specs and messy hair and cool detachment ain't one of them. And I am sure you also think the same. So while waiting for someone else to change our world in a day for us lets plan how "To be free, to be me, to live life as I see."
