Jumbled

I did not know when but it seems

I have left the corner where I was supposed to wait for you.

I have walked too far ahead and lost my way back to you.

Daydreaming, I have taken few turns too many 
And I lost the corner that was meant for you and me.

Yet I wonder wistfully if till now you have been waiting for me?

Did the shadows keep changing as you kept waiting for me?

I imagine you sitting, at the corner table, just few steps away, 
With soulful eyes mirroring the loyal heart which won't sway.

Selfish, careless, thoughtless, aren't I?
Wishing that you wait for me through eternity
As i wander along new paths to new worlds amidst new crowds.
Craving for new sceneries, new adventures
Leaving you to old, dusty, fruitless memories

A vision of you alone, standing makes me pause and I look back.

I look back and see my heart waiting amidst the changing shadows,

sitting at the corner table and waiting with longing eyes,

May be you have taken a turn too many and lost your way

yet it's hopeful that sooner or later you will come one day.

My stupid, wistful heart sits alone waiting for you and me.

I look ahead and start walking ‘cause I know it’s an illusion,

nothing but my stubborn delusion that we were meant to be.

Vulnerability

Just when I had been numb for so long
with smoky sense of right and wrong,
out of the blue what the hell did u do
that u changed thoughtlessly all that i knew
of myself to be forever true.
the heart, the organ, who beats to keep me alive
cannot think or feel or be cute, i am not so naive.
yet as it pumps out blood it starts to hurt so hard
i bend over, breathing, hiccuping and suffocating
gasping, moaning and the tears keep pouring
all the while shushing myself to be quiet
because it is disturbing to the freaking mind.
the pain is sharp, the hurt is deep
it is no nightmare, I am not asleep.
the scars within are still so alive
i thought they would vanish with time.
is n't soul just but a popular concept
to leave me warm when my lover left.
oh so i am a hopeless cynic, and to emotions i must surrender?
then what of u who strikes with careless words, i wonder?
u r warm, u r hope, u r sunshine
yet u leave me frozen in a dark mine.
it hurts to feel, it is hard to deal
the vulnerable desires still alive within.
There are more things to kill inside
Such is Life i realize